Over the last few months I have written blog posts about how I want to change certain things in my life (my work, income, hobbies, generally what am I doing with my life.) Most of this is to do with my depression and being unable to see that what am doing is good enough.
During the last year and a half I have made some questionable decisions in how I chose to earn some extra money. I have never done anything illegal, but now I look back, I think “were things really that bad that I did that?”. In truth probably not.
It is almost like I had a secret side to my life, infact there were very few people that had any idea what I was dong. This has also made me think that maybe I should have done things differently.
Now I am at a point where thngs are not looking as bleak as they were and I am a lot more positive about myself. I know that I do not need to push myself in all directions for a bit of cash, that it is time to do the things I want to do, not feel I have to do.
I am not ashamed of the things that I have done, but if I did it over again I would most probably do things differently.
I know this has been quite vague, that is because I do not want anything I have done to embarress or have consequence for people I know that had no idea what was going on.
I now have a plan of what I want to do and people to help and support me with it, and I am really happy with how it is going.
Take this little bit of advice from me, things are never as bad as they seem. And if you do feel you have to do something desperate, really think about it first, make sure you really want to go down that road because you will end up lower than before and dragging your family and friends into things they don’t need to know about.
Take care everyone.