two people holding baby trainers between them while holding hands

5 Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship After Kids

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Maintaining your relationship after kids can be a tricky business, especially if you’re a new parent. You might be dealing with sleepless nights, added stress and limited time alone with your partner.

Although you may be focused on boosting your relationship with a partner or co-parent, other relationships can suffer when you have children, too.

You might not have time to regularly meet up with your friends and family. This can be isolating – so it’s important to find small, manageable and practical steps to keep your relationships strong.

Let’s take a look at 5 tips to strengthen your relationship after kids.

1. Be patient

If you want to strengthen your relationship after kids, it’s important to be patient. Many of us struggle with change. It can be scary and uncertain – and having children can be very overwhelming.

Your lives aren’t the same as they were, but that’s okay. Instead of fighting against the change or trying to maintain exactly the same relationship as before, think about how you can move forward in your new situation.

silhouette of two people with a sunset, arms around each other: strengthen your relationship after kids

Take time to settle into a new routine – and accept that relationships will change and grow as your lives develop. Be patient and realistic about where you are now – and take small steps to feel close to your partner.

2. Communicate

Communication is important in any relationship. If you’re concerned about something, sit down and speak to your partner about it.

Don’t let problems grow and develop – get them off your chest as soon as they come up. You might have a concern about your child or you might be communicating a deeper problem that needs to be addressed.

Get into the habit of talking about everything with your partner. You should be navigating your new life together – and effective communication is a big part of that.

3. Organise regular dates

Once you’ve had kids, you’ll inevitably have less time to go on dates with your partner – especially with a new baby to look after.

Make an effort to organise regular time out together. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You could book a meal in your favourite restaurant every fortnight or go out for a coffee every weekend.

Choose dates that fit with your schedule so that you can properly switch off and enjoy yourself. It’s all about getting out of the house and reminding yourself what it feels like to be a couple again.

two people having a coffee: tips to strengthen your relationship

You could also organise a day out with the family to enjoy time with your little ones. Just because you have kids, it doesn’t mean the romance needs to end – dating as a parent will just look a bit different.

If you want to strengthen a non-romantic relationship, make sure to put regular meet-ups with friends and family in your diary.

4. Show your affection

Showing your affection isn’t about grand displays of love or romance. It’s just about using small gestures to show your partner that you love and appreciate them.

There are lots of easy ways to show affection, such as:

  • Saying “I love you”
  • Hugging or kissing your partner
  • Holding hands
  • Cuddling when you watch TV or before you go to sleep

Every relationship is different, so you need to do what’s right for you. These small displays of affection are easy to fit around your schedule, but they can add a bit of romance to your day.

5. Enjoy time alone

If you want to strengthen your relationship after kids, you need to think about the two of you as individuals. Yes, it’s important to spend time together when you can – but it’s also important for you to enjoy some time alone.

a couple holding hands with a wedding ring on a finger

Many parents feel like they lose their identity after having children. Think about the things you like to do – what makes you feel good?

You could treat yourself to a self-care afternoon or meet up with friends without the kids. It’s all about supporting each other to feel happy and secure, even as things change.

Do you have any tips to strengthen your relationship after kids? Tell me in the comments!

Take care everyone x

One Comment

  • Molly | Transatlantic Notes

    This is some really great advice for those looking to evolve and nurture their relationship after having children. It’s important that at every stage of a partnership there is flexibility and growth (which, of course, can be really challenging to experience). Fab post!

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